WARNING: This post is raw and real. I’m sharing from my heart and I’m not worried about grammar, punctuation etc. So if that bothers you don’t read anymore, and I won’t be offended. But if you want to read a real person’s heart and what God is whispering then I invite you to read on….
Today I hit a wall. Not literally, but physically, I hit it. I went into the boxing gym as I’ve done these past few months at 5:30AM and I hit the wall. I was gassed, exhausted, ready to puke! I had started our series of three rounds of what we call burn outs (dumbbell curls, bench press, crunches, and the “wheel of pain”) I was ready to start my second round and the mental battle began. I could feel how hard I was breathing, everything felt weak. I wanted to walk out the door. It really made me angry that I was wanting to quit when I knew I had to push through it. I hit the wall. I was in a mental, physical and spiritual battle!
I was also thinking of all the things I have facing my day today and the rest of the week. It’s VBS (what I call Journey Week) prep time. Next Monday begins our outreach to children and I was feeling very overwhelmed. Mentally I was hitting the wall. Physically hitting the wall, Emotionally hitting the wall.
My trainer and friend Morris, keep pushing, kept yelling and kept motivating me to push though this wall. He said to me, “your stronger than you think right at this moment! Believe it and do it!” I didn’t think I could. I didn’t really even want to try, BUT…. I broke through.
I realized at that moment that he was being my strength when I was at a weak point. He had his hand on the bench press bar and was lifting with me, for me. But then he said, “it’s all you!” and I pushed through 5 more presses before he said good, get up!
Psalm 25, “In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.” David exclaims to “God, I trust you when I can’t breakthrough this.” I love David’s real heart coming out in this passage, “No one who hope sin you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.” vs. 3
The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.”vs.14
My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare. vs.15
Today, I had struggled with some hurts of the past and some worries of the future. I laid those hurts down as I laid down the weights I was lifting. I realized again that God has led me and in spite of what others think, even when they don’t like or agree with your decisions, God is the one who steps into the picture. He did for me this morning.
When others pick up stones to throw at me, Jesus stepped in front of me and whispered, “I’ve got this. I have already broken through, just follow me. They can’t hurt you anymore. Those fears you’re struggling with, it will be OK, I’ve got those too.”
I needed those words, that hand on the bar to push me through the wall.
Time to get to the mission he has whispered into my heart. Time to let those who are in the past, who even today continue to throw stones, a wave goodbye , and pray a blessing to them that God would take their pain and hurts and help them break through their wall.
Lord, Thank you for loving me, for guiding me, for letting me crawl into your lap this morning and just be your son.
My hope, my only hope, is in you!
“Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all the day long. (Psalms 25:4-5)
How has God helped you through the walls you faced? I’d love to know how God has spoken to you.